I lost something I never thought I could live without, something I nurtured for 15+ years. I considered it a part of my being, we grew together. And when I let it go, I had no idea, no inkling really, of what could happen....and, deep down, I knew I would be okay.
Shock set in immediately. Unclenching can do that, there is a sense of freedom, maybe unburden and then overwhelming terror. Discomfort was present. Ache was real. I acknowledged my mourning, I could feel my dis-ease, I could taste my fear and amidst it all, I chose to stay alert, focused and open. Yeah. I read that recently: instead of falling into it, do something else. I started this blog seven days after closing the door on that aspect of my world. I (simply) opened another portal.
I am inspired.
In this moment I am expressing myself in a completely new format. I am changing. I will reroute my energy and retell my understandings derived in part from comfortable discourse. "hottubinwisdom" is the name of my new website, the home for my blog.