In Color

Bohemian Rhapsody (movie) is an inspiration. This story is magnificent on many levels. I cried tears of sadness and joy, throughout the film. How many friends have I lost to AIDS? How many relationships have I ruined? How many mistakes have I made? How many lessons, heartbreaks, successes, unimaginable moments, triumphs...? Life is what we make it, always. I want this message often: "This is your moment, make your mark." I do not need to be hysterical about it or even desperate. I am so okay with my life up until this point, I would not change a thing (pretty sure). I am moving forward with an open heart and possess a big interest in finding how to best express myself. I want to be Freddy Mercury in MY body. That is the energy I am referencing, that ability we all have to exude our truth in being. Whatever form it takes. Could be many, I suspect. Labels. I am living in a culture defined by them. Luckily, I have friends who seem to share my desire for 'rocking the boat' or 'breaking out of the box'. So we discuss. And last night we recognized how often we have tried to FIT into something that we knew was not us. I think we went so far as to pinpoint this action alone as the struggle spot. One friend specifically said: "Fitting that square peg (me) into that round hole HURTS". I completely accept and support the idea that we need to try on many different hats before we find the one that really fits. And I choose to laugh when I look back on all the hats I wore because I was told to do it....or else. My kids are filled with questions, daily. "Mom, did you get a degree to do what you are doing?" "Mom, have you been trained by professionals?" "Mom, do you have a pension?" " Mom, are you a master?" My short answer is yes ....and, btw...I do not have a pension ;-). I get to sit here and wonder, quite innocently, where I am headed. I most definitely have what I need. I am surrounded by friends/family who invite me often to grow and enjoy. I was reminded today of the spiritual aspects we pass on and their priceless value. Easy to get caught up in material and really necessary to remember what matters most. Connection. Seeing, hearing, feeling and being together. Do it. Make your mark. Express yourself fully. Live in color.