Labels are everywhere. We deliver them every time we judge another and ourselves. We can find them within family dynamics, society, and our workplace. My kids are using labels to define themselves and their friends. They are a part of our culture. They can be subtle and they can be obvious. Here's my question: Do you I need a label? Will that make me feel better about myself? They direct our behavior, we may actually need them to function. "What are you exactly? Once I know, I will be able to relate appropriately." Scary, right?
I perceive labels from friends, parents, siblings, kids, you name it and I get it. I can dish them out too, quite easily. We are label makers! I am wondering now if I can refrain as I am understanding how limiting they can be for my own development. These labels prevent me from being myself, I can spend time with others trying to meet their expectations, while seeking acceptance and appreciation for qualities that are not my own. Crazymaking.
This affliction prevents me from blossoming into the person I am growing to be. It generates fear and stifles my expansion.
I am experiencing a lack of belonging based on the fact that I am unique. In general, the love in my circles is strong, we all have each other's backs and the support has been expressed often. I am distinguishing an identity piece within the collective. Can I stand tall in my difference, stay courageous and love everyone regardless of what they see and think about me? YES! Of course I can do that. And I am, now.
In my heart I know they love me first. As the same goes for me, I love you first. Most of what I am talking about is unconscious, the subtle patterns by which we operate, daily.
Proving myself worthy is an exhausting endeavor, especially to my loved ones.
I worked with Adriana Pickering this morning:
This is what I discovered. The labels put upon me by others only hurt because they feel like judgments and criticisms. My interpretation and perception here is causing the 'ouch'. It feeds into that old need for approval. For a long time I just didn't know how to be myself comfortably because I thought something was inherently wrong with me.
My path is perfect.
And when I recognize my feeling separate, it makes me deeply sad.
The guilt I experience is also devastating, for not meeting other expectation and also for denying myself. It is twofold. When I label another, I am denying them as well. This can get really messy.
I can love others and myself for our differences. I know that we are all here to learn from each other. We can coexist without judgment.
Notes to self:
-agree to disagree
-maintain a comfortable distance mentally, physically, and emotionally
-make peace with what we have
My biggest move will be to take ownership of all things Meighan. Be proud of who I am, my calling and purpose. Dare to be special/different/my own person. Be strong. Be tenderhearted. Be fierce.
It's like I put on a suit of armor to wear out into the world. To make me look like everyone else so I fit in, it also allows me to hide my true self underneath and serve as protection.
I believe that over the past few years, as I have really started to identify my wonderful that I simply do not want to wear the suit anymore. It is heavy for one and more importantly, it is not me. It blocks my light.
I think this is why my marriages did not work out, we all married the suit ;-).